Monday, September 19, 2005
Corporate Lessons
note: sabi noong nag send sakin sa email nito, nakita daw nya sa isang blog to.. so there you have it.
=============================
lesson no. 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower
when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one
should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself
up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give
you $800 to drop that towel that you have on" After thinking for a moment,
the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few
seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about
her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the
shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in time with
your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
------
lesson no. 2
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped
and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and
nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his
hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father,
remember Psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He
forced himself to remove his hand. Changing gear, he let his hand slide up
her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" Once
again the priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving
at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her
way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and
looked up Psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
glory."
Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great opportunity.
------
lesson no. 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a
puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll
give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I
want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the
world." Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the
sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal
masseuse, an Endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof!
He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says,
"I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Always let your boss have the first say.
------
lesson no. 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the
crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit
and ate it.
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
------
lesson no. 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well,
why don t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're
packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that
it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch. Finally
after a fourth night, there he was proudly
perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer,
who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
------
lesson no. 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow
came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the
pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually
thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for
joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the
pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
=============================
lesson no. 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower
when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one
should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself
up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands
Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give
you $800 to drop that towel that you have on" After thinking for a moment,
the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few
seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about
her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the
shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in time with
your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
------
lesson no. 2
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped
and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and
nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his
hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father,
remember Psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He
forced himself to remove his hand. Changing gear, he let his hand slide up
her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" Once
again the priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving
at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her
way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and
looked up Psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
glory."
Always be well informed in your job, or you might miss a great opportunity.
------
lesson no. 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a
puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll
give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I
want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the
world." Poof! She's gone. In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the
sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal
masseuse, an Endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof!
He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says,
"I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Always let your boss have the first say.
------
lesson no. 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the
crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit
and ate it.
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
------
lesson no. 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well,
why don t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're
packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that
it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch. Finally
after a fourth night, there he was proudly
perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer,
who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
------
lesson no. 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow
came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the
pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually
thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for
joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the
pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
| daysi October 19, 2005 04:41 PM PDT Hi kuya! Natawa naman ako sa post. Hehe. Wala lang.. napadaan lang. ^_^ Take care! Hi kay ate Meann! | ||
| bigbaddie October 7, 2005 02:58 AM PDT master, i have perused your wise teachings (na kinuha mo kung saan). grasshopper | ||
| hanne September 29, 2005 03:08 AM PDT aba, nakakapagblog ka pa pala! | ||
| tehProgamer September 27, 2005 09:39 PM PDT SABI NAMAN NUNG 2 NAGKUHAAN SILA SA ISA'T-ISA ANYANYANYA! | ||
| yashko September 19, 2005 04:52 PM PDT sabi naman dun sa blog.. nakuha daw nya from an email ^ _ ^ | ||
| Leave a Comment: |

